feb.19... holy emotions batman!

A day for contemplation, regret and matters of the heart. The past month I have been wallowing in the thought that I made a tragic mistake in my love life. Just under 3 months ago I ended an almost 2 year relationship. I still loved him, that was never the issue. I just started to feel overwhelmed by our issues. When we first started dating he had moved back home, 3 hours away from me. It was really tough and we almost ended it because it was too hard to del with our issues given the distance. Then he moved to my city to be with me and everything was better. Then the issue was seeing too much of eachother, I moved back home, 30 minutes away, and it became harder to deal again. I think I may have been talking myself into more drama then there needed to be when we broke up, pulling the commitment phobe card, or maybe I'm pulling the lonely drama queen cat lady card right now. I have been blaming myself a lot for the whole thing since a dear friend and partner in crime of mine told me that he never really saw me and my x working out. Didin't think we were a good match. Taken my history with the friend in question, I started going a bit mental. I can't be in a relationship right now and I know that (not that he would take me back... again!), I need to figure out my life and what I want before I can deal with someone else being a major part in it. I had a moment of weakness though. I told him that I wanted to talk to him, about us, I must have been thinking athat maybe thwere was a chance. Hi assured me that we are done and he is ok with that, didn't make it any better. I am supposed to meet up with him next week sometime. I must be out of my mind.